Just Do It

i often dream that i am running.............weightlessly gliding across the terrain, heartbeat in my ears, effortless. i breathe easily, my stride is long and comfortable.  it feels better than i could ever imagine.

then i wake.

if only i could translate that feeling into my normal day, when i'm actually awake and could use some peace and serenity. i have never LOVED running, but used to do it regularly for exercise and for the quiet it brought to my mind. few things top the feeling when you have finished a long run. the endorphin high lasts forever............

sadly, that endorphin high is akin to the feeling gained after consumption of copious amounts of chocolate. or pizza. or BBQ potato chips. or genoa salami by the handful.......all of which completely counteract most of the benefits from the exercise to begin with.

at any rate, going to the gym and running were a part of my daily routine for years. then came knee surgeries, professional demands, children...........it seemed that the hours of the day became less plentiful as each year went by, and the excuses multiplied faster and faster.

what to do, what to do. how to re-motivate. how to make the time. how to grab that desire again.

honestly, Motivation is all around me. i have friends in abundance, and sisters, who work out regularly, run, go to the gym. they are all so fit and look amazing. if that isn't Motivation, nothing is..............

but there are always excuses. my latest one was The Snow. hard to run when it's freezing, snowy, windy, right? well, those excuses were pathetic this week as the weather actually improved, and much of the snow melted.  to make matters worse, i really can't even use the weather as an exuse.  i own a treadmill.  YES, i do.  it's in my office.  currently its being used as storage for some files boxes, and some clothes that needed to dry.  pathetic actually isn't even the word.  appalling might come closer?

i had to search elsewhere for some of that all-important Motivation.

as is often the case:  SHOPPING!!!!!!  it becomes the cure for all that ails. seriously. i figured that if i had a new pair of running shoes, and some other miscellaneous running THINGS, well certainly i'd feel it necessary to put all to good use. 

sadly, when i started going through all of my "workout gear", and i use those two words very loosely, i discovered these items.

yep.  brand new, tags still attached on all....................

then to make matters worse, much worse actually,  i TOTALLY forgot that i had gotten these when i was supposed to be Christmas shopping for others!

yay for me, i had actually taken them out of the box but, so far, they've only been used for walking into Starbucks and the grocery store (candy aisle of course), as i tried to maintain my strength to get gifts purchased and shipped over the holidays.  hardly the thing that Olympic dreams are made of.  

so, it's back to the drawing board. 

soon i won't have the winter layer of sweaters, vests, and long-sleeves to camouflage the parts that have become...........fleshy.  roundish.  jiggly.

and let's not even venture into swimsuit territory. 

oh.  wait.  I MAY HAVE JUST FOUND THE LAST SLIVER OF MOTIVATION. i really do not want to be mistaken for something mammalian that lives in the ocean.

so.  after i go out and buy some more cool, comfortable and fun things to wear, the workout regime begins in earnest.

really.

superlatives

well, SnoTorious B.I.G. is now past.  there almost aren't any words to describe the magnitude of snowfall, so i guess HUGE, GINORMOUS, RECORD-BREAKING will have to do.  we got just a hair under 29" here in alexandria, and it was pure hell trying to dig out.  while i tried to stay ahead of the snow by shoveling throughout the blizzard, it was still quite the task.  losing power after the snow had ended was just the icing on the cake, to be perfectly honest.  it got mighty chilly by morning with no electricity, that's for sure. and the loss of cable/internet/phone was absolute torture.  i was feeling like laura ingalls wilder with candles and huge down comforters everywhere...........(now all i need is some fresh maple syrup to make candy and the picture will be complete).  supposedly we're going to be hit with another significant "snow event" on Tuesday into Wednesday, but so far the newscasters are playing it down.  i think it's so they won't be tarred and feathered in the streets of public outrage.

i know that everyone can read all about The Historic Snowstorm on the internets, and newspapers, etc..........so i won't bore you with any more of that bunk.

here are a few shots, though, for all of you out-of-towners, to give you an idea of just how much Fun we have (not) been having.  i guess the fun starts after the shoveling ends?

notice that the tree in my front yard is again featured prominently (and probably annoyingly, to most of you), but it helps to give me perspective......

more photos can be found on my flickr photostream to the right, under "a day in the life" tab......

the snowstorm was scary, cold, windy, icy, loud, and absolutely stunning in its power.  Mother Nature sure does wash away the yuck, and leaves skies of cerulean blue that cannot be matched.............

the air has never been this crisp and clean.

la nieve

snow:  Snow is frozen water that falls from the sky. All snow flakes have six sides, but no two snow flakes are the same.  Snow is precipitation in the form of small white ice crystals. Snow is formed from the water vapor in the air at a temperature of less than 32 degrees Fahrenheit.

blizzard:  A blizzard is a severe storm condition characterized by low temperatures, strong winds, and heavy blowing snow. By definition, the difference between blizzard and a snowstorm is the strength of the wind. Ground blizzards are a variation on the traditional blizzard, in that ground blizzards require high winds to stir up snow that has already fallen, rather than fresh snowfall. Regardless of the variety of blizzard, they can bring near-whiteout conditions, which restrict visibility to near zero. Blizzards have a negative impact on local economies, and can paralyze regions where snowfall is unusual or rare for days at a time.  (duh.  see also: Northern Virginia and Washington, D.C.)

those are the Real and Official definitions. 

i prefer these, myself: 

blizzkrieg, blizzardpalooza, snowmageddon, snotorious B.I.G, snowpocalypse, feblizzard, snOMG, (or, in this case, snOMFG), the big snowbowski, snowtastrophe, shovelation, shoveltastic, snowgasm, snowzilla, snowbliteration, keyser snowze, snownami, oblizzarated,.............TAKE. YOUR. PICK.  all monikers for our latest venture into Winter Wonderland..........

and It Begins: 

not too bad yet, but we'll see how it goes overnight, as we are expected to get 3" per hour at the height of the storm, with 24" on the ground by 11 a.m. 

hot toddy anyone?

conceding

all i've been hearing all morning:

"at least it's a PRETTY snow".  wha???  who cares. 

well, ok, it was.  kindof.

enough

apparently, via some weird time/space continuum, i now live in minnesota, greenland, alaska, or some other place where the godforsaken snow is not an anomaly, but a regular occurrence.  so far this winter we have had one HUGE snowstorm (22" here), one medium sized snowstorm (7" here) and one small snowstorm (2-4") expected tonight.  kindof like The Three Little Bears only colder, snowflakier and much less fun to read about.

we live south of the Mason-Dixon Line, and any kind of snowfall wreaks havoc and mass confusion when it falls from the sky.  even if it's just a little bit.  so the snow-removal resources are already stretched pretty thin.  and the general populace is losing its ability to deal with it mentally and emotionally.  oh.  it's just me?

tonight's snow is supposed to be over around midnight, but school will probably be cancelled for tomorrow.....AAAAANNNNDDDDDDDDD.  more snow expected this weekend.

it was kindof fun the first time as we were prepared for it well in advance.  it was really good sledding snow, so we made the best of it.  it was cool to put on ski pants, hats, scarves, boots.............but that novelty wore off pretty darn quick.  honestly, one storm --- that's all i really need.  one good blizzard per year suits me just fine.

i am now overdosed on snowflakes, and have no interest in seeing ANY. MORE. SNOW.  

so!  Wishful Thinking:

 

love

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails... And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I Corinthians 13:4-13

NOOOWWWWWW.  those who know me know that i am NOT the religious type.  as a matter of fact, i usually warn folks if i'm going to be near/in/around a church so that they can wear fire-retardant clothing.....lightning strikes are always a real danger. 

i have nothing against churches......or religion for that matter.  ORGANIZED religion and i, however, have never been the best of friends.  i dislike being told what to think, believe, have faith in.   i hold on tight to my own personal faith, philosophy, belief system, values and spirituality. 

so for me to be quoting scripture is a bit.........alarming?  strange?  unsettling?  never fear.  i have not turned away from The Dark Side.  i'm joking, obviously, as i know there are so many who hold scripture in high regard.  as do i --- just not as the only guidebook for how to live my life.

however, the verse above seems to be appropriate right now.   with all of the tragedy in the world, LOVE is that one constant.  we need it --- need to receive it, need to give it............need it for survival.  we can survive without many things, but we do need love.  it is a basic human need.

Fifty years ago at the University of Wisconsin, psychologist Harry Harlow believed that affection and connection were the foundations of life. In a landmark experiment, Harlow took baby monkeys from their real mothers, giving them wire "moms" devised to deliver milk. But the youngsters would only cuddle when their surrogates were covered in a furry cloth. These monkeys thrived, while those with the bare-wire models didn't. The results proved Harlow's theory that attachment to another is as crucial a drive as thirst, hunger and sex.  (Natural Health, 2003, Jill Reimark)

if we could all just give a little love to our fellow humans, i honestly believe that life wouldn't be so hard, all of the time.  now, we can't prevent tragedies such as the one that has befallen the people of haiti.  but, with loving hearts, if we give what we can, we can affect the lives of others in a positive way.

i am trying to be more positive about everything.  it is one of my RESOLUTIONS for 2010.  but the crisis in haiti, our economy, the healthcare debate, the wars in iraq and afghanistan, hunger, discrimination......all of that Stuff is really testing that desire to see the good in all things.  that and other Stuff, of course.  the banal, mundane Stuff that tests us all on a daily basis.  our own personal failings being high on that list.

so i'm holding onto love a little bit tighter right now.  hoping it can carry me through some Stuff..........Stuff in the world, Stuff in our country, Stuff in my family...........(my apologies to george carlin).  and now i'll stop preaching and will jump down from the proverbial soapbox. 

love can't conquer all.  but it can give us the strength to fight another day.

choices

"eating handfuls of caramel popcorn. why, you ask? because it's.....HERE. on my desk. oh willpower, wherefore art thou? thus ends day 1 of the Fat Smash Diet."

i posted the above on my Status Update earlier today.  i just had to.  i was truly so filled with self-loathing that i actually started cracking up inside, and had to laugh out loud at the absurdity!  hating myself because i was enjoying the caramel popcorn so much!  how messed up is that.

part of my irriation at myself was because i had started the day off so well.  non-fat yogurt, an egg white, and a banana for breakfast............a salad with grilled chicken, sunflower seeds and a teeny bit of dressing for lunch.........and then..........BAM.  couldn't keep my hands out of the goodies.  and then, you know what happened at dinner.  i had already bombed so why not eat a second helping of lasagna and garlic bread, and make chocolate chip cookies.  eat half the dough, and then 12 cookies.  you know how it works - once you've blown the diet, why not BLAST IT INTO SMITHEREENS.

i digress.  anyway, i am determined to eat better.  mostly because i want to work toward being more healthy overall, but also (and i'm not going to deny it), i'd love to drop a few pounds.  i'm not overweight, not by any standard, but lately have felt kindof puffy and fleshy?  pants are a bit tight, don't want to wear anything that might show the backfat, have to disguise the muffin-top...........you know the drill.

so, over the weekend, at my bro-in-law's birthday party, another bro-in-law announced to me that he had lost TWELVE POUNDS IN TWELVE DAYS.  (boy, did that statement ring in my ears for days).  he looks great, and i am really glad for him.  and he didn't say it in a "gloaty haha you suck" kind of way, but genuinely excited about it, and happy to share the method that my sister is helping him to execute.  they have discovered a diet where you detox your body by cutting out most everything but fruits/veggies, beans/rice, egg whites...........basically you let your body recover from processing all of the junk we eat (meat and sugar being the big culprits), and your metabolism starts to scream and burns fat like crazy.  my sis tried it a while back to kickstart her metabolism after having her second baby, and it worked well for her and for her husband.  she is naturally slim and svelte, but this did help to get her metabolism where she wants it.  now she looks like heidi klum.  seriously.  and if that isn't inspiration?  i don't know what is.

i just want something to get me motivated --- when you see results, it really (at least for me) confirms that i'm doing something good, and i want to keep doing it.  even more than i want that bag of sour cream/onion potato chips and the 8 brownies that are left on the plate.

so, today was Day Number 1.  and it was a huge, epic fail.   the funny thing is, i wasn't hungry.  i just wanted something sweet and crunchy.  so, tomorrow i'm going to make sure i have some apple slices and maybe some clementines on hand.  and, keeping my fingers crossed, hopefully the guys at the office will have demolished that evil caramel popcorn so i won't be tempted.

tomorrow is another day.  as always.  thank god.