relief

sheesh, what a day.  pouring rain, car making a funny noise, AAAAANNNDDDD a trip to the vet for the Dog.

must be Monday.

The Dog, a 10 year old miniature dachshund, has been acting kindof funny for about the last 10 days.  lethargic, not playing with her toys, laying in her bed, and worst of all she's been having trouble getting up and down the steps when she needs to go out.

then, beginning on Friday night of course, because the vet is only open for a few hours on Saturday morning for appointments that cost a small fortune and really is Saturday that precious of a commodity, and if it is then why are you a doctor.  oh.....sorry....i digress.

anyway, on Friday night her symptoms got worse.  her little tiny back legs were buckling a bit and she started walking like a crab.  NOT good.  i can tell this, and i'm not even a vet.

called first thing this morning and got her an appointment.   wrapped her up in her bed, thus protecting myself from her gigantic and ominous teeth, so that i could walk through the monsoon to the car.  actually, her teeth aren't really all that gigantic.  but they still hurt when they pierce your skin, let me tell you.

she cried all the way to the vet, this being a dog who does not enjoy car rides in the slightest.  so, again trudging through the raging typhoon, i get her inside, where she proceeds to behave like she is a 2 year old puppy with nary a symptom to be seen.  those of you with children are very familiar with this phenomenon.  child is barfing, feverish, hallucinating, speaking in tongues, hacking up a lung UNTIL you get into the exam room at the pediatrician's office, where they make a miraculous recovery, exhibit no signs of illness whatsoever and proceed to make you look like a red-faced bumbling idiot.  this is the one time in your life when you actually WANT to hear the doctor say that your child has scarlet fever, hanta virus or ebola, just so that you are justified in being in their office.

actually, once the adrenaline wore off, The Dog did make an effort to ACT like she might be hurting or that something was wrong.  she did drag her back legs a bit, and it was obvious to the vet that she was suffering from a typical dachshund malady, problems with her spine - long and weiner-like that it is.

i left her there in the office, or as the vet calls it, *in-house hospitalization* (i think mostly so that she can charge me more for 5 hours in their back room than you'd pay at a 4-star hotel).  i authorized x-rays, blood work and a pain med injection (i considered asking for one myself at this point, believe me) so that we could rule out other issues.

got the call a few hours later that The Dog did have some inflammation in her back/spine and that she'd be coming home with some anti-inflammatory meds and a prescription for reduced activity.

big sigh of relief.

i have lost sleep over the past few nights as i contemplated telling my 12 year old daughter that her beloved Dog might be not long for this world.  i can't tell you how thankful i am that i can put that off for a while.

we've had the "The Dog is getting older, and we need to remember that pets don't live as long as people" talk a few times lately, but this ailment really popped up out of nowhere and i was feeling woefully unprepared to have this conversation FOR REAL.

so, $440 later, The Dog is sleeping in her bed, snoring loudly and peacefully, and my little girl is smiling and happy.

that makes it all worthwhile.

stymied

woe.

i've had a day where i said the wrong thing to Everyone, and Everyone said the wrong thing to me.

why is it that some days things roll right off, and other days things stick like burrs you can't get out of your hair? 

maybe because it's been a LONG week.  that's my story, anyway, and i'm sticking to it.  truthfully though, it has been stressful, busy, hectic, and packed full of the little moments that leave a mark.  and not in a good way.  i feel like i have welts all over from the little slights and snarks.

most of the time i'm pretty impervious to things like this and thick-skinned.  not today.  actually, not for the last few days.  feeling put-upon (taken for granted, taken advantage of.....the list goes on) has left me headed for martyrdom.  oh the drama.

and lo, venting is required in order for a modicum of maturity to be regained. 

let it begin.

i think the worst thing is when someone in a position of authority and responsibility continually falls down on the job, and isn't held accountable for it.  everyone else mops up the mess, picks up the pieces, and keeps things rolling.  but because they are adept at covering themselves, it doesn't come to light as quickly as it might otherwise.

i personally think it's time for the buck to stop.  while it is not particularly my job to point out these egregious grievous awful embarrassing constant stupid unacceptable errors, we are well into double digits (!) over the last two weeks.   big things too, not little things.  big things that really affect others.......this someone is in a position senior to me, but when the work/product overall is suffering and morale is sinking, what is the solution.

these little fissures of resentment breed bitterness...............then respect starts to erode and your whole perspective begins to change.  i think you're more likely to distrust an opinion when your internal radar is pinging, don't you?  when you are thinking to yourself, "this person is continually dropping the ball, how can i support them and their decisions, as fully and totally as before".

we all make mistakes, get distracted, lose focus every now and then.  but when it becomes habitual and almost EXPECTED for this person to make these types of blunders, i think action is required.

so, Heads Will Roll.  let the Face Punching commence!

nah, i just said that to get it out of my system.  after verbalizing my frustrations, i feel a bit better already!

now if i can just stop letting these frustrations get the best of me........

maybe i'll be less like Cruella deVille tomorrow and nobody will want to throw me out a window.

while i might lose her personality, the white streak stays.

sister

friend supporter champion gift true confidante familiar collaborator treasure inspiration motivator idol forever believer ally advisor bond giver comrade advocate distinctive solace challenger savior extraordinary teacher

heroine

i have sisters.  each unique and matchless in their charm and in what they bring to the world at large.  witty, smart, generous, elegant, kind, thoughtful, classy, selfless, funny, beautiful.  they are so exceptional and i admire them all more than i can really articulate.  that they are so fabulous shouldn't be surprising, as they have Our Mom as an example.  it's certainly no secret that we worship the water she walks on.

sisters are easily taken for granted as they are always THERE.  when you need them and when you don't, but mostly when you don't think you need them, but deep down inside, you really do.  that's actually when you need them most of all. 

the camaraderie, the solidarity, the unity.....can lift you when you are down, and hold you there until you can manage on your own. 

you are never alone as she is there in spirit, if not in flesh, and the connection that exists is the strongest, and sweetest, of all friendships.

sisters are there to revel in your success, to share in your joy and happiness.  to appreciate and empathize...............and mostly, to Understand.

how lucky am i to have that four times over.

these people say it better than i ever could....................

A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves - a special kind of double.

-- Toni Morrison
 
A ministering angel shall my sister be.

-- William Shakespeare
 
A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life.

-- Isadora James

Sweet is the voice of a sister in the season of sorrow.

-- Benjamin Disraeli

A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost.

-- Marion C. Garretty
 
We know one another's faults, virtues, catastrophes, mortifications, triumphs, rivalries, desires, and how long we can each hang by our hands to a bar. We have been banded together under pack codes and tribal laws.

-- Rose Macaulay